Episode 5: The Courage Within: Overcoming Fear for a Brighter Tomorrow

Today we're talking all about fear. What is fear? Where does it come from, and what are some steps to begin to let it go? To live a more fulfilled and balanced life. When a crisis hits, that's too late to take action. The reservoir of our knowledge is depleted if we haven't built it up before the crisis hits.

It's impossible to be calm when we are surrounded and panic, and unfortunately we're trying to build things in a storm and it's just leaving us more overwhelmed, more unsure, more unsettled. So fear, I like to think of as a virus, it can destroy more than any other virus, more than the flu or the common cold.

I think we've all been afflicted with it at one time or another.

Fear can immobilize us. It can stop us from getting on a plane or opening a business or writing a book, or taking up a new hobby. Going to a new restaurant, ordering a new dish at the restaurant. I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine that we always tend to order the same things and don't venture to anything new.

So fear can keep us stuck in the same patterns with the same outcomes. Fear is not [00:02:00] logical. It is illogical. It's based on our own past experiences on our own imaginations. It's not based in actual facts, but it's based in the facts that we create in our mind, the facts that our ego has created, but it's not the truth I don't know if you've ever had a situation where something happens and then your mind kind of runs away and it creates all of these different scenarios, each one kind of getting worse and worse until you're at the end of the road and the worst outcome possible has happened. Even though you're probably 10, 20 steps back and nothing like that has remotely happened.

It's happened to myself a lot, especially when I was younger. I used to create all of these horrible things that would happen, and nine times out of 10 it doesn't happen and I have to reign the thoughts back in to where we actually are. What's happening in the body during this time is fear really is an over stimulation of our central nervous system.

It is the nerves and anxiety and feelings of overwhelm have gone haywire. In Ayurveda, this would be called an imbalance in Vata dosha. When everything is going haywire, it's much more difficult to bring it back in to balance. So we try to begin to recognize our inner patterns, our patterns with fear.

If we hold on to fear. It can lead to guilt or regret or shame, and if we haven't dealt with fear, it can begin to consume us from the inside out. If we are consumed with fear, then we allow it. To have an impact on our life, where it consumes us, where we don't trust ourselves, we don't trust others, we don't trust our life experience. It prohibits us from accomplishing things that satisfy our most inner desire, our most inner connection with what we are here on earth to do.

Fear can cloud or obscure happiness in our life. It can cloud or obscure joyful moments in our lives. It's hard to be a participant, fully present participant in our life when we are consumed with fear we don't wanna feel fear. Fear can. Um, look like racing thoughts, anxiety, depression, lethargy, apathy, lack of appetite, or maybe even eating too much fear can show up as procrastination, controlling behavior. Constant worries. You know, there was. Something that happened to me a while back. I had been procrastinating on a project for about two weeks, and no matter what was happening, I just could not get it done.

And so it came to me when I was on a walk and walking tends to be where I do my meditation practice on life and what's happening and connection. And so it came to me on this walk that I was procrastinating because I was afraid of failure. And if I did this one thing, then I would be responsible for the success or failure, and I would be putting the outcome in my own hands.

And that was scary to me. I would be solely responsible and no one else, and responsibility for the good and the bad, that's what was leading to procrastination. And so really though, I wanted to take the steps to get to where I didn't wanna remain stuck and. If I didn't do anything, then I would stay stagnant, kind of stuck in the mud, moving nowhere, and so I decided to take a step, and maybe the step was a little bit slower than I had originally wanted, but I was still moving in a direction that I wanted to go.

And so procrastination for a lot of us can be a sign that we're in a fear state, and here in our Western culture. We are taught not to feel the emotions and the emotions of fear, especially we're taught to just plow through or go to the doctor who's got a pill for that. And I think this can lead to unrealistic expectations about having an amazing job, an amazing relationship, an amazing husband, amazing kids.

Uh, the perfect house, the Instagram ready cupcakes and birthday parties, and life is worthy of a magazine.

But really is that just fear of not being able to keep up with the Joneses,

is that, the fear of falling from social position, and so when is it okay. Or when do we determine for ourselves when it's okay not to have those things, to not feel like you have to keep up with everybody else? Do you give yourself permission not to have those things, or is the fear of not appearing perfect more weighing, more heavy for you.

Some of the things that we do to escape is we might watch TV or binge watch Netflix or indiscriminate sex or drugs or eating.

Why do we let fear rule our lives or drive our lives? Well, maybe it's our experiences as a kid. Maybe if we had an abusive parent. We keep carrying that fear within us. 'cause the feeling of fear can become embedded in us, in our bodies. If we were teased as a kid or maybe we failed, we have a fear of failing again.

All of these past experiences become embedded in us and can keep us in that sort of fear state and keep us from moving forward.

And successful people. And I'm not talking about billionaires or the ones with the most stuff, but successful people in life or at life overcome fear. They overcome fear for the greater possibility of what could be for the abundance of life. And if we're fearful, if fear is clouding our experiences, our experiences in this moment of our life.

How can we then be living an abundant life? Well, we can't because it doesn't feel good to be in a fear state fear and doubt are always gonna be there.

Our body houses the past. That clouds our perception of the truth.

Fear, it said, resides in the first chakra, the base of the spine, the root. Fear is there. It's a defender. It's a defender against what we're scared of. It's defending us from maybe ourselves so we don't expose ourselves or, or our ideas. It's fear of the good stuff happening.

So when you think of the defender in your own life, is fear hiding behind it? Or what would it look like if you offer up your thoughts to God? For God to become the defender. If you don't believe in God, then a higher source, maybe the universe, whatever resonates most, what would it feel like to offer up every fear that you have to.

Someone something else that has the capacity to take that on for you and defend against what you are most scared of.

How do we recognize when things are fearful? Well, you might tense up maybe in the shoulders, the back, you might bite your lip. Heartbeat might increase. You might begin to sweat more. Maybe the breathing is more rapid.

On the outside, we might have a look of calm, but the inner body is moving and it's reaching, and then the outer body, the mask that we have to the outside world and the inner body are not congruent.

So what are some tools to use to begin to look at fear in our own life and some steps to begin to let go of the fear? Well, we can become a witness to the fear with no judgment. We begin to recognize it. Say you have fear and anxiety and depression in one hand. You can look at it, you can recognize it, you can babysit it, and on the other hand is your determination to move forward the determination. Not to have fear clouding the life experience, and then we get better at not merging the two hands, not merging our determination with our fear and anxiety and overwhelm.

So that's a strategic use of our focus and attention. We look with compassion and love and kindness to those things that we are fearful of. And this is an example of weaving spiritual capacity into everyday life.

Notice the thoughts that are occurring to maybe begin one minute of the day, allowing yourself not to let fear or anxiety control you.

That's 60 seconds. It can begin with learning how to surrender, how to soften into the support of God. Maybe begin doing that by setting an intention for the day by being honest with yourself, by giving compliments to others, beginning to accept yourself and others. To begin to do an exploration of yourself first and then others, and then of your community, and then of the world.

It's beginning to have compassion for yourself, learning to be vulnerable with yourself.

So we can do a meditation on fear,

Come to a comfortable seated position and be here for a few minutes. And maybe allowing the eyes to close or the gaze to soften

wherever you are. The hands are resting heavy in the lap, palms facing up.

And bring awareness to the right palm

and imagine a ball there. Maybe it's a ball of light.

And you begin to put all of your fear, anxiety, overwhelm, depression into the palm.

Maybe you notice some sensations happening now that you've put all of that.

And that ball of light in the palm,

maybe you notice a difference in the weight of the palm. Perhaps it's become heavier,

just beginning to notice what fear feels like for you.

So you begin to gently hold all of that fear and overwhelm in the palm, and you recognize it and you're just holding it.

Then bring awareness to the left palm.

And the left palm is your determination.

It is the witness to the fear, but it's not connected. To the fear in any way.

The left palm is the intellect, the mind,

it's strategic focus.

And notice how. That determination feels in the left palm,

does it feel heavier or lighter in the right?

Maybe it feels bigger or smaller. Same size.

So now you have fear in one palm determination, strategic focus, intellect in the other,

and you're allowing yourself. To carry these two things at the same time, without them being merged into each other,

can you allow yourself to be open to the fear

without pushing it aside, without shoving it down, without ignoring it? Can you accept the fear that is there? At the same time, you accept the determination and the focus and the intellectual will,

and you hold these two things without them merging into each other. But they can exist at the same time.

You can move forward

towards what you're wanting while you still hold

the fear.

And maybe opening up the eyes, taking a look around the room. Maybe your eyes. Find something that's beautiful, a color,

be something that you haven't noticed in a while,

and take note of any sensations in the body that you're feeling now. Any differences?

Knowing that you can move forward in your day

and move forward towards. Abundant life.