Episode 6: The Heart's Healing: Moving Beyond Past Pain

I wanna talk a little bit about transformation of our victim mindset,

and so when we perceive ourselves as a victim. It really is our ego incorrectly perceiving what is happening to us and in this moment, and what is being a victim look like. Maybe it is someone else is to blame or they don't like me. Or that person made me mad or sad or angry.

It really is our own identity being created by our ego.

But some of us have attachment to being the victim. Can we begin to appreciate. Our past without staying in the past. We begin to get stuck if we continually relive moments from the past and we can't let go.

I dunno if you've ever gotten into that loop where you continually replay events of the past thinking what happened? Or thinking what could have happened if you made different choices or how silly the one choice you made was as kind of getting stuck in this repetitive loop of the past. Some people, and it depends where we are in life too, are more comfortable. Staying with the old hurts, with the old wrongs. If they let go of those things, then who are they?

Can they be someone new? Most people don't want to be someone new. They want to be comfortable, and so they stay with. The old hurts and the old wrongs, and they rage against those that have wronged them and they rage against God. And they rage against the emotions that are brought up and they rage against the feelings.

And even though that might be destructive, it's what they know. It's what we know and it's comfortable.

However, if we begin to accept our past experiences, our past hurts, our past wrongs, I think that we begin to move forward. We can move forward towards something new, towards something better, and we begin to. Achieve freedom. The past can sometimes feel like chains holding us down or bounding us, but what would it feel like for you to be truly free

Freedom from old hurts, from old scars, from the old pain.

Some people, it's more comfortable to remain in the pain because it's what you know. Maybe it's where you flourish. Pain can be where we've learned to survive.

It can be how we've gotten through the situations in the past, and so we learned how to deal with things in a previous way, and that influences how we move through situations in the present

if we're in a victim. Narrative. It's how we survive. It's how we get through the mundane, our daily activities of waking up, of putting on clothes, of going to bed, of having relationships. That's what's most comfortable. And if we get rid of the past or the hold of the past. Or get rid of the hold that the past has on us, then maybe we feel like we have nothing.

Poof, it's gone and then nothing is there. The challenge is appreciating our past experiences that have made us who we are. Because, look, the past has taught us lessons good, bad, and ugly sometimes. The past has taught us how to survive difficult situations.

It's taught us how to make better decisions moving forward. It's taught us things to learn from or let go or try differently.

But can you leave the past behind and keep the things that it's shown you to live? And then the question becomes, are you ready to live? Do you have the courage to let the past go? And I am not suggesting that you forget, right? We  are creatures whose each past choice is part of who we are. It makes up who we've become in this moment.

Each past experience is a part of us, but does it have to be a part of our future? If we suffered some type of abuse or trauma in the past, can we recognize that that happened without bringing those feelings of hurt and victimhood into our future? And really only every person can answer that for.

Themselves, and it depends on the tools that we have to aid us in letting go. It, um,matters what our community looks like. Our friends, our support.

Have you ever thought about how often. Your memories can hold you hostage. Do they creep up throughout the day and then we become a hostage to those memories or to the feelings that the memories bring up? We become a hostage to the pain, and when we become a hostage to the pain, then. We do things to escape, to run away.

We go to new cities or we engage in frivolous activities, or we drink, or we do drugs, or we have lots of sex, or we sleep till noon and we become a shell of an existence, a shell of a life, a shell of our humanity. And then the past becomes a prison of belief in a sense that we are stuck without the knowledge or the desire to change because we're more comfortable with what we know.

We don't wanna feel uncomfortable.

But do you wanna be stuck to the same spot that you were 20 years ago? Right. Maybe the location has changed or the people around them have changed, but you are still

the same.

Do you think that the best days are behind or in front of you?

We all have a choice about if we wanna move forward. Do you wanna relive the coulda, whata should us. Or do you wanna begin to think about what you are really wanting for yourselves and how you want it? It takes a leap of faith. The world is in turmoil, all of around us, but we do have each other. We can rely on each other.

Can you look forward and see happiness? See joyfulness. Can you let things go?

Or maybe is there attachment? There? Attachment to being the victim, but we can create our own reality with every thought, with every choice we can create. A better future. You can choose not to be led by your ego or by fear,

but you can be a pioneer. If we think about the American pioneers, they went off into the unknown, into the unfamiliar because they were intrigued by what could be. That it could be better than where they were.

So if you think about it, what are you wanting from your life today?

Maybe you take a few minutes in bed before you rise in the morning, put a hand over your heart. And ask yourself, what do you want your day to look like?

And begin to recognize the answer that comes to you. Recognize how your body feels . What do you want your day to look like?

And maybe the answer comes to you pretty quickly. I don't think any of us wake up out of bed and say, I really want my day to be like shit. And I really wanna have an argument with my boss or my significant other, and I really want my car to break down, and I really just wanna be depressed all day. I don't think that's what any of us are waking up and wanting for ourselves, even though it might feel like that when we get started and have one of those days where just everything goes wrong.

That's why I think it's really helpful to start the day off before your feet touch the floor in bed to ask what do I want my day to look like?

When we begin to change the story in our minds, we begin to change our life. This is just a gentle way to begin to look at what ways might you be stuck in the past story that your mind is telling you, and maybe what are some ways to begin to move forward, even if it's at a glacial step, to get out of that victim narrative to begin to become nourished and balanced and living in harmony with our inner self and with our outer self.

When we stop blaming others for where we are. And we recognize that the past has had an impact on the person that we are today. Every past choice leads to where you are in this moment, but can we realize that what you've done in the past or what may have happened to you in the past doesn't have to limit your ability to find joy or happiness or nourishment or balance in the future. This is the gift