Episode 3: Mind-Body Harmony: The Art of Relaxation

Episode 3

 [00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the Body Rhythm Podcast. Today we're diving into all things rest and relaxation. . We don't get enough of it. I don't know about you, but certainly myself, something that I am lacking and I see other people always complaining about it too, right?

We just have too much on our plates and it's impossible to rest and relax. But relaxation is necessary for rest, and rest is necessary for healing, and we can't heal if we don't allow ourselves to rest. [00:01:00] 90% of all doctor's visits are stress related, digestive symptoms, endocrine disorders, insomnia, anxiety, fear, uh, reproductive issues.

I read that and I was just astonished that it was that high, but on the other hand. Kind of not. We're living in a stressed out society and really, I think when we go to the doctor, our current medical system isn't equipped to tell us, Hey, slow down. And some of these issues might straighten themselves out.

So when we're stressed, what does that look like? Well, the pulse might speed up. Uh, the pulse might be irregular, the pulse might be weak or [00:02:00] bounding or disappearing. The breath, um, might be shallow. It might feel a little bit forced. It might be more in the upper chest rather than towards the navel. When the breath is calm, it tends to be deep and full and relaxed, steady and stable.

When we are chronically stressed, uh, there might be fear and anger and depression, anxiety, nervousness, in fact. Stress can be called a psychic pathogen, as a psychic pathogen, it infects our body just like a virus or bacteria. And I think this is really good description because when we are suffering from a psychic pathogen, it [00:03:00] impacts all of our bodily systems.

It impacts our immune system, our digestive system, our reproductive system, cell's, ability to grow and repair. And it affects our ability to problem solve, right? Uh, when we're stressed, our body becomes rigid, but not only the body, but the mind, right? Sometimes when we're stressed, you might notice that it's harder to think.

It's harder to problem solve. It's harder to. See our way out of a situation and in the body that rigidity might look like aches and pains in the neck or the shoulders. Maybe the lower back sciatica tends to rear its head and times of [00:04:00] chronic stress. And so what do we do?

What do we do when this rigidity happens? When the hardening happens? 'cause rigidity doesn't just happen in a day or two days. It happens over a longer course of time, over years, usually.. And if we keep pushing the stress down, really not dealing with it, and we push it down into the cellular level of the body, into the connective tissue, well, then it just gets harder, right?

And so love is the antidote.

Love is the softening serum. To the hardening, to the rigidity that happens, and rest and relaxation is [00:05:00] related to how we allow ourselves to be loved, loved by others, but also loved by ourselves. When we are hard and rigid, we're probably not allowing ourselves to be loved to our fullest. I mean, how can we, how can we experience that ooey, gooeyness, that juiciness of love if we're in.

A state of rigidity if we're suffering from IBS or insomnia or hormone imbalance. It's really hard to relax and it's really hard to feel loved. So most of us are living in a disembodied state. The mind is sort of taking over. And not paying attention to [00:06:00] how the body is reacting. The body might be sending us signals that something isn't right through our digestive system through gas, bloating, heartburn.

These are usually the first ways that we begin to notice that's, Hey, something isn't right here. And then if we're not paying attention there, maybe we get a little bit of a headache or some achiness in the shoulders or the neck, maybe some achiness in the lower back, and then the mind says, Hey, don't pay attention to that.

Keep going. Ignore that ache and pain. Keep going. Let me keep going. And then maybe, you know, we wake up in the middle of the night and we can't fall asleep, and the [00:07:00] mind is like, Hey, can't fall asleep. Time to scroll through social media. Time to watch my favorite show on Netflix, and then that startles the nervous system even more.

And then I can't fall back asleep until it's one hour to get up for work the next day. Does any of this sound familiar? Or is it just me? I don't know. So as the mind and the body tend to get more disconnected from each other because of chronic stressors, we tend to have more, uh, severe reactions. We tend to get more disembodied and the more we get disembodied.

The more outta balance we feel, the more I think that I see. How do I get back? What's going on with me? Maybe I'm going to the doctor and they're saying all the tests [00:08:00] are coming back. Um, fine. Nothing's wrong with you, but you're knowing that you are not feeling good. You're knowing that this isn't feeling good.

You're knowing that just something isn't right.

When we begin to allow ourselves to relax, when we allow ourselves to rest, we begin to allow ourselves greater intimacy with our bodies,

greater intimacy with the mind. Whoa. That can be really scary.

But if we're only using our mind for our experiences, the mind is extraordinary, right? It is responsible for all of the great. Think of all the great inventions, all of the great art in the world, the architecture, the amazing thing that the [00:09:00] mind has created. But if we are completely identifying with the mind, that's only a portion of who we are, then we're turning off our physical body, we're turning off our emotional body.

We're turning off our spiritual body,

our emotions and their connection with the physical body remain untouched because the mind is reactionary. It reacts in anger. It might react in throwing something. It might react in insults or labeling things.

And then we miss out on the experience of life

and when the mind is in control, we override the body's and natural inclination to rest and that. Get it done. Mode is more of that [00:10:00] masculine energy, right? And what we need to bring online is more of that parasympathetic, more what I call feminine energy,. More of that, uh, juiciness that honey that,

antidote to that. Get it done mode, right? If we're continuing to stuff everything down, instead of dealing with it, we cannot release it. And if we're always on the go, then we're not noticing. What's been pushed down, and if we don't know what's been pushed down, then we can't release it. And if we can't release it, well then we can't heal.

And do you see how this might become a great big circle?

We don't feel safe in [00:11:00] our body when we are suffering from. Chronic disease, right? When we are having chronic pain, when we're having racing thoughts, when we're having fear, when we're having anxiety, when we're unable to sleep, how are we able to rest and relax? The mind doesn't feel safe. The body sure doesn't feel safe, and so then the stress response is kind of.

In control here, and what we wanna do is we want to tell the nervous system, Hey, you're not in control. I know how to bring you back in balance.

So when we began to change the story in our mind, we began to change our life. When we began to relax, when we began to rest, we begin to [00:12:00] change. And this change doesn't happen overnight. We do what we can and we leave the rest behind. Right. That's kind of, I think, what our life's journey is about.

We, we do what we can. We learn from the experience, and we leave the rest behind.

And so in Ayurveda, there are different layers of the body and each layer is like a mask, masking what's underneath it if we're not paying attention. And so rest and relaxation is necessary to get at the root cause, to expose what is in each layer. When we expose what is happening in each layer.

And we begin to trust ourselves a little bit more. And [00:13:00] what happens when we begin to trust ourselves a little bit more? Maybe we begin to love ourselves a little bit more. And when we begin to love ourselves a little bit more, maybe we begin to soften a little bit. And when we begin to soften, maybe we allow the nervous system to move from that fight or flight response into the rest and digest response.

 That really is how we begin to heal from whatever might be happening. But that's really how we begin to move through life, through all of the different experiences that life gives us. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Is the softness, is the safety

is love.

So what can we [00:14:00] do to begin to recognize what is happening in the body? What's happening around sort of these stressors? So, uh, as one of my teachers, Mary Thompson used to say, create islands of serenity around the stressor. What can I do if I know that there's going to be a stressful experience, for instance, uh, Thanksgiving, and I know that there's gonna be a family member there that I don't.

Get along with, well, I can set time aside to check in with myself

before the stressful event, and I can maybe take a nice relaxing bath beforehand and maybe after the stressor when I come home to decompress, I might. [00:15:00] I have a nice cup of tea

maybe I put on, um, my aroma therapy. Just something to feel good around the stressor. It's important to set time aside for ourselves to. Create time to think and to feel, and maybe that's just starting at a one minute interval or a two minute interval. How do I feel about this situation? What am I wanting for myself?

Maybe putting the hand over the heart.

And just asking yourself the question,[00:16:00]

how am I doing?

How do I feel? And what do I need? And maybe in that moment it's, I need a hug. Maybe in that moment it's, I need to remove myself for a few minutes. Maybe it's don't respond in anger to that email, right? But that time of silence, the time of checking in and getting into the connection between the mind and the body is really important to bring.

The nervous system back towards homeostasis

 can you create a daily check-in time of [00:17:00] me time of time where you can do whatever you want. No social media, no screens, anything that's not jolting to the nervous system. Maybe it's journaling, maybe it's prayer, maybe it's a breathing practice or sitting in the sun feeling the warmth on the skin.

Maybe it's standing on the grass, feeling the gooshiness under your feet,

 But this check-in time is really important so we can begin to identify what's happening, begin to bring connection again between the mind. And the body. One thing that I really like is what, one of my [00:18:00] teachers, Jillian Pransky calls constructive rest, and it is a pose where you lie on your back.

Knees are bent, feet are on the floor about hips width apart or wider, and the knees come in towards each other, resting on each other. The hands can rest on the belly or the floor, whatever is most comfortable, and you begin to ask yourself,

what am I needing the answer might come immediately, or it might take some more time.

And I talked at the beginning of this episode about the qualities of the breath and the quality of the heart, right? Maybe in this constructive rest pose, beginning to notice how your breath is feeling, noticing if it's deep or shallow.

Or if it's full and [00:19:00] calm,

noticing how the heart feels, noticing the pulse rate, noticing if the heartbeat is bounding or disappearing, right? You're just beginning to tune into the signals that the body is giving you.

Because you can't begin to heal until you know what's happening in the body.

Becoming more embodied is necessary to move from the trauma vortex into the healing vortex. If the mind is always running the show and disconnecting us from our life experience, then we can't really begin to heal some of these other things that might be going on .

Ask yourself maybe what would feel really good. I, I'm not talking about a [00:20:00] pizza.

I'm talking about what would really feel good for you. I mean, maybe it is a piece of chocolate, I don't know, but maybe I,

it is giving yourself a break. Maybe it is allowing yourself to take off some of that pressure. Maybe it's allowing yourself to take the time to do the daily check-in. Maybe the answer is a hug. Maybe it's asking your lover to hug you or giving yourself a self hug. Feels really good. Maybe it's laying on the ground,

allowing the body to rest fully supported.

Just mama, ask yourself, how many times do you check in with other people throughout your day? I mean, I check in on my parents, I check in on my niece. I might talk to my sister. I check in with [00:21:00] my coworkers. I'm always asking, how are you doing?

Tell me what's happening. But how many times are you asking yourself, Hey. What's going on? Tell me how you're feeling.

This is the time to check in on yourself. It is a beginning step on your journey towards rest and relaxation and reconnection with your body. It is a step to beginning to digest your emotional experience, your physical experience. It's a step to begin to tune in to your unique life experience, your unique body rhythm.

If you're curious on what your unique stress style is, how you react to stressors, and what are some ways that you can [00:22:00] begin to bring balance into the nervous system, check out my, What's Your Stress Style quiz in the show notes. And have a wonderful day. Be nourished and remember that you are loved, you are held, you are beloved.

Be well and nourished.